It's really quite simple. I don't get it. Jimmy Buffett is a fairly talented songwriter, but beyond that, I don't get it. Could someone please answer the following questions:

Why does the presence of Jimmy Buffett implore cause in their forties and fifties to don Hawaiian shirts?

What does the music of Buffett have to do with parrots?

Why would an old guy in a Hawaiian shirt want to put a parrot on his head?

Does anyone really think this guy is that good a singer?

How do songs about cheeseburgers and Margaritas translate into legendary status?

Aren't your "conga line" days supposed to cease upon receiving your college diploma?

Am I the only one who first saw the name "Buffett" and thought an "all you can eat" meal was in the offing?

Wouldn't a close relationship with Warren Buffett be more beneficial?

I certainly don't mean to discount the passions of the thousands of parrotheads who will descend tonight upon the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater (or Riverport, or whatever they're calling it this week)

I just wish someone would tell me where attraction turns to passion. Oh well, I didn't get the Grateful Dead either. Somebody help me! (Or get U2 to come through town so I can go nuts!)