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  • Movie Review - Dear John We just got a letter, we just got a letter...

    What John Grisham is to legal thrillers, Nicholas Sparks has become to chaste romantic weepies about star-crossed lovers. The latest film based on his work is Dear John. Starring Amanda Seyfried as Savannah and Channing Tatum as the eponymous John. The two meet while she is on Spring Break at the beach and he is on leave from the Army. John is a quiet man with a troubled past. But we know that John is truly decent when the film reassuringly shows us (via an odd cinematic shortcut usually reserved for dogs) that an autistic child trusts him. We see John and Savannah fall in love over the course of two lusty, yet virtuous, fun-filled weeks. They promise to stay in touch while he finishes what little time he has left in the Army. But seeing as how these scenes are set just a few short months before 9/11 it's a pretty safe bet that if there is one thing Osama Bin Laden hates more than America, it's true love.

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    By Roger Qbert in Movies 2 Days ago
  • Movie Review - From Paris with Love Royale With Cheesy

    In the 1988 cinematic masterpiece They Live, Roddy Piper uttered the classic line, “I’ve come to chew bubblegum and kick ass…and I’m all out of bubblegum.”  So it is with John Travolta’s latest From Paris with Love only instead of bubblegum, Travolta has come to chew scenery…and there’s plenty of it.  He plays Charlie Wax, an unorthodox loose-cannon of a spy who, of course, has the perfect solution for every situation regardless of how ridiculous that solution might initially appear to be.  Partnered with James Reece (Jonathan Rhys Meyers), diplomat’s assistant by day/entry-level secret agent desperate for a promotion by night, Wax wages a one-man war in the streets of Paris in an effort to stop…um, recover…or possibly find….um, something?  Maybe.  Who knows?  None of it matters.  This is The John Travolta Show.  It’s Travolta in his full-on, over-the-top ham-boniest. 

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    By Roger Qbert in Movies 3 Days ago
  • Fake Mel Gibson Interview and John Travolta is Bald - The Toast That, plus Amanda Seyfried heats up the big screen

    We're doing it a bit differently this week, so enjoy this special (read: shortened) version of The Toast.
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    By Chris Files in The Funnies 4 Days ago
  • New On DVD Zombieland, Amelia, Love Happens and more!

    Zombieland

    Zombieland stars Woody Harrelson as Tallahassee, a grizzled zombie-killing veteran, and Jesse Eisenberg as Columbus, a phobia-riddled college kid who has managed to turn his neurosis to his advantage.  The film is set in a world where zombies roam the countryside scavenging for the last remaining uninfected humans.  The two have formed a tenuous alliance when the meet-up with Wichita (Emma Stone) and her 12-year old sister Little Rock (Abigail Breslin).  It is a funny, dark, funny, action-packed, funny, violent, funny horror movie…it also happens to be funny.  It’s not aiming for high-art.  It wants to be one thing and one thing only – a laugh out loud, kick-ass zombie movie.  And, as such, it’s a perfect thing.  Everything about this film works: the zombies, the action, the performances, the humor…everything.  Even the on-screen credits (which continue throughout the movie) are awesome. 

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    By Roger Qbert in Movies 6 Days ago
  • Movie Review - Edge of Darkness Gibson is back...but does anyone care?

    Mel Gibson returns to acting with his first role since 2003’s The Singing Detective in the new action-thriller Edge of Darkness.  He stars as Tommy Craven, a by-the-book Boston police detective whose activist daughter (Bojana Novakovic) is gunned down on his front doorstep.  While prevailing wisdom is that she is an innocent bystander with her father being the intended target, Craven believes there is something more at play.  His off-the-books investigation quickly reveals all the usual suspects involved in a conspiracy: the suspicious boyfriend, the too-slick-for-his-own-good boss (Danny Huston), the best-friend too scared to help (Caterina Scorsone), a mysterious government operative (Ray Winstone) and, of course, my favorite old chestnut, the evil Republican Senator (Damian Young).  (Really?  In Massachusetts?  A state in which only 12% of the citizenry are registered Republicans?  A state that, until about 10 minutes ago, hadn’t elected a Republican Senator in a generation and a half?  If you say so.) 

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    By Roger Qbert in Movies 7 Days ago

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