Wanna keep your job? Don't comment anonymously on the St. Louis Post Dispatch's site. Social Media Director Kurt Greenbaum recently tattled when a commenter used a vulgar term, revealing personal information and getting the man fired in the process. The Internet then responded accordingly. Watch the video for more. You're welcome.

How can you tell The Blind Side is based on a true story?  For starters, the main characters are kind and compassionate Republicans.  In their wildest imagination, Hollywood could never come up with a concept like that.  Telling the story of Michael Oher (Quinton Aaron), the film follows him from his poverty stricken teenage years to his being drafted into the NFL.  Knowing that the inspirational tone of the film will undoubtedly attract many non-football fans, the movie opens with a nice tutorial on the sport and deftly explains the importance of the position of Left Tackle.  Given that most football movies focus on the Quarterback, it’s a wise move.  As the film starts, the upscale Briarcrest Christian School begrudgingly accepts the gargantuan Oher into their ranks.  He’s essentially homeless and has virtually no vital records due the poor parenting of his crack addicted mother.  But they accept him in spite of this; a frothy mixture of Christian values and a vision of the ghost of championships-yet-to-come filling their heads. 

In the new animated film, American astronaut Charles Baker (Dwayne Johnson) lands on Planet 51 mistakenly thinking he’s the first intelligent life-form to ever step foot on the world.  Much to his chagrin, he finds the world to be populated with “little green men” who are not only intelligent but also speak English.  This world is a funhouse mirror version of the United States circa-1950.  Their hovercrafts look like the ‘50s era cars that Detroit used to churn out, they listen to the “oldies” and deluge their cineplexes in order to see “alien invasion” B-movies where the attacking extraterrestrials are zombie like creatures called “humaniacs.”   Baker is quickly discovered by Lem (Justin Long), who just got promoted at his job working at the planetarium.  He must choose between turning over the essentially harmless Baker to the authorities (and therefore certain death) or helping him escape (and making Lem a pariah on his own world). 

The Twilight Saga returns with its second installment, New Moon.  The series revolves around Bella (Kristen Stewart), the love interest of Edward (Robert Pattinson), sparkly vampire extraordinaire.  (Seriously, he looks like a stripper sneezed on him.)  Bella being decidedly non-vampiresque - that’s a word now - creates quite the conundrum for Edward.  He’s desperately in love with her but the smell of Bella’s blood could send him into a feeding frenzy.  Therefore he must constantly withhold his passion or risk killing her.  As the film opens, Edward and his vampire family are forced to leave town as people are starting to realize that they’re not growing older.  Contrary to what Dove Soap commercials would have us believe, being ageless apparently has its drawbacks.

God, it's good to see your smiling and/or frowning face again. If you're looking for Toast, you've come to the right place. Here's what went down this week: