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Updated 105 Days ago

Fake Mayor Slay: Total Recall - You Can't Handle the Truth

Hope you are enjoying the beginning of your week St. Louis. Ever since I pushed through the "Gorgeous Weather 2008" bill, August has been mild and sunny.

Okay, I didn't really pass a bill to make the weather nice. But even if I did, someone would probably be mad about it.

Like the jokers who are trying to put together a recall petition to get me pulled from office. What's that? Are you unhappy about something? I'm sorry, I'm having trouble hearing you over the dull roar of HOW AWESOME I AM!! Tell you what, I'll just step aside and acquiesce to the other person running for Mayor next spring. What? NO ONE is running against me? Do you know why?

Because I am a By-God Force of Nature! I got 19,500 votes in the last election, that's like 18% of the population of St. Louis. That's not just a victory, that's a mandate from the people for me to stay in City Hall and kick tail!

To borrow from noted scholar Col. Nathan Jessup: You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties you want me in that Hall, you need me in that Hall. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you," and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest that you pick up a pen and run for office. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!

But seriously, be proud that you almost got one-third of the signatures you need to even get the recall process started. Don't think that makes you one-third of a man. Think of it as "the glass is half full." Except, it is actually two-thirds empty. Nice job!

 

About The Author:

Fake Mayor Slay gives a little insight to the goings on in and around the Real St. Louis


  • SandyShores 105 Days ago
    Long live Mayor Slay!

    May the road rise up to meet him, the wind always be at his back, and the opposition on the ballot remain nonexistent.
  • Registered Voter 105 Days ago
    Mayor, we live in a City that has citizens and those citizens need to be governed by a man with authority. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Fake Mayor Sleigh? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for your recall and curse the petitioners; you have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that the recall, while tragic, probably saved lives and that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties you want me on that petition, you need me on that petition. We use words like honor, code, loyalty and registered voter. We use then as the backbone of a life trying to defend something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you," and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest that you pick up a pen and sign some legislation. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

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