HSM's Kaycee Stroh: Happy to Be Herself

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I was both shocked and pleased to find that a young woman in her 20s could be comfortable aiming for what a thin-obsessed media would likely consider to be "too large." I asked her about that part of the article, specifically, and she replied with, "I'm not built to be a stick. I'm not built to look like a boy. And my waist size does not define who I am."

I could have hugged her. It's refreshing to hear those words admidst an eating disorder crisis of incredible magnitude. While there is obviously a slow-building backlash against the size zero craze, it's still very slow building. The consequences of underweight Hollywood stars are being found in children as young as five and six years old. Pre-kindergarten girls and boys are becoming anorexic and bulimic. Teenagers are surfing "pro-ana" and "pro-mia" websites for "helpful" tips on avoiding meals and binging and purging. (And whether or not your child is exhibiting sympoms of an eating disorder, I strongly recommend that all parents check the household internet history for any browsing of these lethal websites. In fact, look a few of the websites up yourself. I guarantee that you'll be appalled.) Women in their 20s and 30s are consuming as few calories a day as they can, and there's been a sudden rise in eating disorders seen in women in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and yes, even 70s and 80s. These problems are so prevalent that they're spawning entirely new sub-groups of people who believe that "the thinner is the winner." For example, have you ever heard of "workplace anorexia?" If there are a group of women in your office growing thinner and more gaunt with every passing day, it's possible that the competitive group quest for supreme slimness is happening right under your nose.

The bottom line? We're a sick society full of people who will go to extreme lengths to lose weight, and we are perfectly willing to endanger ourselves in the process.

My friend, Judi Diamond, and I were talking about this terrifying trend just the other day and how we really needed more positive role models for our kids, who are constantly faced with peer scrutiny, as well as the media scrutiny of celebrities. It enrages me to see gossip sites target Britney Spears, Tyra Banks, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Kelly Clarkson as "fat." These are small women whose minute imperfections are being capitalized on because they wore an unflattering outfit, or because a high-definition camera captured some cellulite. On the flip side, the cruel remarks aimed at singers and actresses who are of average (or a bit above average) weight are really unspeakable. The message is loud and clear, especially to the impressionable. It's telling our young girls and boys that they aren't worth anything if they aren't stick thin. It's also giving our young men very unrealistic ideas of what a woman is supposed to look like. These so-called "standards" are unachievable for the average person. If you and I had stylists and managers who would make Adderall and Clenbuterol readily available to us in large quantities and keep us on diets of water and broth, we could be that ever-elusive size zero, too.

Kaycee Stroh is a wonderful example of someone who has learned to be comfortable in her own skin. And maybe if the Kaycee Strohs, and the Jennifer Love Hewitts, and the Jennifer Hudsons and the Queen Latifahs of the world start speaking above the dim roar of the sickly starlets, we can turn this thing around and all learn to love who we are as people, and not as a pants or dress size. Perhaps we can find a happy medium. Not twiggy. Not obese.

But human would be nice.