Turkey Cooking 101

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Cooking is not my forte, and anyone who has ever tried something that I've cooked can attest to that. (While we're on the subject, wish everyone I work with good luck; they have to eat my mashed potatoes for our office feast.) The only turkey that I have been in charge with is this kind, which, although tasty, is not a vital part of my family's meal. Recently, I got to thinking; what would I do if I did have to cook an actual turkey? I would be so lost that my turkey might resemble something like the one Tim Allen made his son for Christmas in The Santa Clause (click on the the Video tab to watch the Tool Man at work).

But according to a few of these experts, cooking a turkey isn't as intimidating as some people think, and these turkey cookin' methods might give hope to someone as un-Martha Stewart-like as myself.

This recipe actually has the words "fast" and "easy" in the title, which means that it should be simple enough for a beginning turkey chef like me. Preheating the oven, unwrapping the turkey, seasoning it, roasting it then removing it from the oven sounds pretty darn feasible. The recipe also claims that it requires a mere five minutes of prep time, and the whole thing is done in two hours. I had no idea it was that simple.

It might be easier to follow turkey-cooking instructions if you had them on-demand, so click on the Video tab to see a great example of a cooking show aimed towards basting beginners. The "chef" (aka the Safeway lady) says that her plan is completely foolproof, and like the previous one, takes only two hours from start to finish. Let me tell you, watching that turkey come out of the oven made me want to actually attempt this feat. Mmmm!

Next, we turn to Bobby Flay. Normally, I love his zesty Southern style of cooking, but it's pretty non-traditional for something like a roasted turkey. If you want to see his take on this classic, which actually isn't so classic at all with a pomegranate-black pepper glaze, click here. Just be prepared to deal with Rachel Ray, too.

The following recipe might be a bit more complicated, but if you really want to go all out with a traditional stuffed turkey, this one sounds like a safe bet. If I attempt this foul masterpiece, I'll have to keep my grandma close by for supervision:

Traditional Stuffed Turkey

12 to 14 pound turkey with the giblets reserved
1 lemon, halved
salt and pepper
butter, melted

Meat Stuffing:
4 to 6 Tablespoons butter
2 onions, finely chopped
6 ounce lean ground lamb
reserved turkey heart and liver, finely chopped
1 pound fresh chestnuts
2 cups strained turkey broth
1/2 cup raw unprocessed rice
1 lamb liver, minced
1 cup fresh bread crumbs
2 cooking apples, peeled, cored and finely chopped

Take fresh chestnuts and slit the base of each shell crosswise, boil for 5 minutes, peel and break into small pieces.

To make broth: simmer the reserved turkey neck and gizzard in 3 cups water for 45 minutes, then strain turkey broth.

Wash the turkey in cold water, pat it dry inside and out and leave it for 30 minutes while you cook your stuffing.

For the stuffing, heat the butter in a skillet and fry the onions until they begin to change color, then add the ground lamb and simmer gently for 15 minutes. Add the turkey heart and liver, the chestnuts and pine nuts, and simmer for another 5 minutes. Add the broth and bring this to a boil. Add the rice and cook quickly for 10 minutes, then add the lamb liver, bread crumbs and apples. Stir well.

To stuff the turkey, slit the skin at the back of the neck and cut off the neck down to the turkey's shoulders if the neck has not already been removed. Lightly fill the cavity, remembering that the stuffing always swells and too much swelling might cause the neck skin to burst. Sew or pin with a skewer the neck flap to the back of the turkey. Just as lightly, fill the body cavity, and sew or skewer this together.

Tie the legs to the tail and fix the wings snugly to the body. Do not bring the cord across the breast lest it mark the skin. Rub the turkey cut with lemon, salt, pepper and melted butter, and place it in a large, shallow pan in a moderate oven (preheat to 350 degrees, then lower temperature to 325 degrees). Roast it according to its weight when stuffed, allowing 25 to 30 minutes per pound.

Extra stuffing can be roasted in a pan for 45 minutes or so, and served with the turkey. Or it can be made into rissoles by shaping it into small balls, dipping then into beaten egg and bread crumbs, and then frying them in butter, to be served as a garnish.

One thing that I did learn is that it takes turkeys many days to thaw before you cook them, so unless you've already started, I'd start investigating places like this one; you can take your family there for their holiday meal, and it requires no cooking or dirty dishes.

This article also has 2 videos attached to it.