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Updated 116 Days ago
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
BARACK OBAMA:
"The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!"
JOHN McCAIN:
"My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road."
HILLARY CLINTON:
"When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me..."
DR. PHIL:
"The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems."
OPRAH:
"Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens."
GEORGE W. BUSH:
"We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here."
COLIN POWELL:
"Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road..."
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
"We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road."
JOHN KERRY:
"Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it."
NANCY GRACE:
"That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks."
PAT BUCHANAN:
"To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American."
MARTHA STEWART:
"No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information."
DR SEUSS:
"Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told."
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
"To die in the rain. Alone."
GRANDPA:
"In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough."
BARBARA WALTERS:
"Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road."
ARISTOTLE:
"It is the nature of chickens to cross the road."
JOHN LENNON:
"Imagine all the chickens in the world, crossing roads together, in peace."
BILL GATES:
"I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot."
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
"Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?"
BILL CLINTON:
"I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?"
AL GORE:
"I invented the chicken!"
COLONEL SANDERS:
"Did I miss one?"
DICK CHENEY:
"Where's my gun?"
*This farse commentary was taken from a chain email from a family member. Have some fun...come up with some of your own!
About The Author:
Have you ever been duct-taped to a chair and then locked in an empty parking garage? I have.
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An Equal Opportunity Employer all rights reserved
I just thought that tidbit added to her article...
What is reCAPTCHA?
reCAPTCHA is a free CAPTCHA service that helps to digitize books.A CAPTCHA is a program that can tell whether its user is a human or a computer. You've probably seen them Ñ colorful images with distorted text at the bottom of Web registration forms. CAPTCHAs are used by many websites to prevent abuse from "bots," or automated programs usually written to generate spam. No computer program can read distorted text as well as humans can, so bots cannot navigate sites protected by CAPTCHAs.
About 60 million CAPTCHAs are solved by humans around the world every day. In each case, roughly ten seconds of human time are being spent. Individually, that's not a lot of time, but in aggregate these little puzzles consume more than 150,000 hours of work each day. What if we could make positive use of this human effort? reCAPTCHA does exactly that by channeling the effort spent solving CAPTCHAs online into "reading" books.
To archive human knowledge and to make information more accessible to the world, multiple projects are currently digitizing physical books that were written before the computer age. The book pages are being photographically scanned, and then transformed into text using "Optical Character Recognition" (OCR). The transformation into text is useful because scanning a book produces images, which are difficult to store on small devices, expensive to download, and cannot be searched. The problem is that OCR is not perfect.
reCAPTCHA improves the process of digitizing books by sending words that cannot be read by computers to the Web in the form of CAPTCHAs for humans to decipher. More specifically, each word that cannot be read correctly by OCR is placed on an image and used as a CAPTCHA. This is possible because most OCR programs alert you when a word cannot be read correctly.
But if a computer can't read such a CAPTCHA, how does the system know the correct answer to the puzzle? Here's how: Each new word that cannot be read correctly by OCR is given to a user in conjunction with another word for which the answer is already known. The user is then asked to read both words. If they solve the one for which the answer is known, the system assumes their answer is correct for the new one. The system then gives the new image to a number of other people to determine, with higher confidence, whether the original answer was correct.
Currently, we are helping to digitize books from the Internet Archive and old editions of the New York Times.