Don't Fall Victim to a Bald, Umbrella-Wielding, High-Top-Sneaker-Wearing Crazy Person

This archived news story is available only for your personal, non-commercial use. Information in the story may be outdated or superseded by additional information. Reading or replying the story in its archived form does not constitute a re-publiccation of the story.

It's been a pretty crazy year (literally) for some of Hollywood's celebrities. But back in the day, when Britney was actually good-looking, every little girl in America was dying to be the bubble gum pop star for Halloween. Pigtails? Check. Foam, platform sandals? Check. Jean skirt of a modest length, bangs and an innocent smile? Check. That's about all it took to turn an 8-year-old into the pop princess.

Well, it's just as easy these days to dress up at Brit for Halloween, but the costume has changed a bit. This year, a bald wig, a large green umbrella, extra padding, painfully white socks and high-top sneakers and a baby on each arm will get you to where you want to be. Extra credit for opening your eyes extremely wide and kissing a cover of Madonna's latest CD all night.

A drugged up Amy Winehouse, a Kim Kardashian with a huge butt, a cake-faced Marilyn Manson, a man-boobed Simon Cowell and many other messed up celebrities have all fallen victim to Halloween this year. Which is why I'm warning you now; nothing is worse than showing up someplace wearing the same thing as another person at the party. If you're one of those people who think you're going to be really original and be Ms. Federline this year, think again. There are more than two million pages online about how to dress like a crazy Britney Spears, which means it's not even remotely close to being an original costume. Same goes for political candidate costumes. If I see you out in one, whether you're Palin or Obama, I will personally dump my hot cocoa in your candy sack.

If you're truly gung-ho about being a famous person for Halloween, at least try to show some creativity. I'm sure everyone would appreciate a Jessie Spano, or even a Doogie Howser.