Get a glimpse at the Innovative Traffic Reducer...The People Picker.

"...the bus stop here, the bus stop there...the buses are freaky, and they're stopping everywhere..."

(Washington) - The exponential population growth of buses is causing major concern as traffic, motorists, suffer the worst on roads in years.

According to the National Roadway Initiative, a recent poll in St. Louis shows that most citizens are concerned with the rising trend of Bus Booming in the last year. For every public bus in the trans-network in year 2008, another 2.3 buses are projected to arrive from wherever they came from. Experts gather that a total of 13,589 'rogue' buses will mysteriously appear in 2009.

Authorities are not yet releasing the details on this phenomenon as it exponentially regenerates. Results are still unclear, but there is evidence that the buses don't even know they exist. "They're here to kill us all, and they don't even know they exist? What's the point in that?!"

NRI researchers, traffic reporters, and construction workers have worked around the clock trying to determine solutions to this population boom. An unofficial contract is rumored to be settled in late September. The plan of action involves using robotic arms to swiftly swing and grab suspecting citizens as they form a single file line alongside bus stops.

As the bus travels, it only slows to pick up passengers using six independently operated arms on either side of the vehicle. While moving, it seamlessly will scoop and load the passenger with a fling or a drop through the top into their seat. Buses have and will continue to be trained to respond to signals as all other vehicles do.

With more and more reports of traffic jams and bus road obstruction, this proposed contract is hopeful indication that we can one day put an end to the overpopulation of our nations bus herds and give the streets back to the cars.  Still cars will continue pile up as the buses slow to pick up more people as they battle for human favor. The streets look hopeful as the People Picker will start sweeping and picking the streets as early as 2009.

"The Better People Picker Upper - For Me!"
"We'll be swinging and slinging these streets clear in no time..."