Wedding Guests: Keep Your Jeans at Home and Don't Puke

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I attended my first wedding of the 2009 "wedding season" last weekend, and while it was lovely, it also made me realize that there are lots of wedding guest etiquette rules that some people need to be reminded of. Although I felt bad that my date and I had forgotten our gift for the lovely couple at home, I was reassured by our friend Shelley that there was no need to worry - we had one year to deliver our present.

Some of these wedding guest guidelines might seem pretty obvious, but since I heard a cell phone go off during the ceremony last weekend (!), a refresher sure couldn't hurt:

• Feel free to take pictures during the ceremony, but remember to turn off your flash. A bright flash of light is distracting to the couple and to everyone else trying to enjoy the big day. Even if you catch a "special moment," chances are, the wedding photographer caught it better.
• Along those same lines, Amy Kotches of St. Louis' Engaging Events by Amy reminds us to get our butts out of the way of the real photographer during the reception. She says that lots of photographers complain about missing out on great shots because a guest cut in front of them to take a photo of their own.
• Not only is sending the wedding gift to the bride and groom's home acceptable (instead of lugging it to the actual wedding), it's even preferred. It's not like they'll have time to open them the day of their wedding. According to some etiquette experts, you have up to one year to send the newlyweds a gift.
• Don't go overboard at the reception. Just because it's an "open bar" or a "buffet-style dinner," the bride and groom are counting on you to behave yourself. The bride's new grandmother-in-law doesn't want to see you hugging the porcelain, and people will be upset if you pile your plate high and some guests end up going hungry.
• Amy also reminds wedding guests to dress appropriately. Don't wear jeans or similarly casual things, and certainly don't dress like you're going out to a club. Be respectful of the event and where it's being held. And ladies, hopefully you know better than to wear white.
• If you're single and the invitation isn't addressed to you and a guest, it's considered very rude to phone the bride or groom and ask them for a "plus one." Chances are, they've put a lot of time and money into working out exactly how many guests they can afford to invite, and your flavor-of-the-week didn't make the cut.

If you have any more questions about what you can/can't do when you attend a wedding, this is a great resource. Any more rules of etiquette for guests you'd like them to keep in mind this wedding season?