About The Author:

Hey 27 yrs old here. If we meet you will find I am very fun and outgoing. When I am not WIL I DJ weddings and also do Mouse Races for charity events. I love to play Pool, WiffleBall, and sing Karaoke. Hope to see you out sometime!
Derrick
Updated 478 Days ago

Redneck Thanksgiving

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IT'S A REDNECK THANKSGIVING IF...


• You've ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a Ping-Pong table.

• Thanksgiving dinner is squirrel and dumplings.

• You've ever re-used a paper plate.

• You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side.

• You've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.

• On Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.

• Your turkey platter is an old hub cap.

• Your best dishes have Dixie printed on them.

• Your stuffing secret ingredient comes from the bait shop.

• Your only condiment on the dining room table is ketchup.

• Side dishes include beef jerky and Moon Pies.

• You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

• The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".

• You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

• You have an Elvis Jell-O mold.

• Your secret family recipe is illegal.

• You serve Vienna Sausage as an appetizer.

Some of  these things that have happend  at my  house on Thanksgiving ;-)

                                 HAVE A VERY HAPPY ONE!

 

Tags:
Redneck
  • Offensive comment? Karaoke Cathy 478 Days ago
    Derrick,
    Your Aunt Cherie and I used to have to wash the "PAPER PLATES" (actually, they were the strofoam w/ compartments) every year when we went to our grandparents house in GA. We have yet to figure out why. We didn't use the ironing board to serve on, but we did use the "washer and dryer". It was the best Thanksgiving ever, and yes they did live on a "Red dirt road". So, you did inherit those "Redneck qualities" legitimately! Happy Thanksgiving! Love, Mom
  • I too have washed the good china(lol) and the plastic sterling silver forks and spoons, and have served food off of the top of my chest freezer before. We also had a room in my mom's house that didn't have heat that we stored the pies in to keep them cool, the room had lots of windows and was only used in the spring and fall, so in the winter it would be about 40 degrees in it, just right for a pie to stay fresh in. We have set soda outside to stay cold on the porch, and pork and beans are a gourmet food if you add some brown sugar and bacon grease to them. When I was little(40+) years ago, we lived in a small town(McCluskey IL) that had 1 road in, but it was paved and my grandmother owned the gas station/general store. On Christmas' and Thanksgivings when it was nice enough, we had ours in the barn and the whole neighborhood would show up and bring something, to this day I can't stand squirrel or rabbit. It put a fun meaning to the words barn dance. I personally lthink its wonderful to be full of Redneck, never know what you're gonna git. Have a great Thanksgiving, any way that you can.
  • derrick.
    I just read those tisk tisk you stole some of those from jeff foxworthy

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