Creative Condiment Usage Isn't Just For Pregnant Ladies

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I propose that restaurant owners around the globe begin placing the holy grail of french fry dips, ranch dressing, between the ketchup and mustard on every table. This would make life easier for the enthusiasts who already know just how awesome it truly is and also tempt and quickly convert the legions of nay-sayers who have, obviously, never tried it before. Until that day comes, I will continue my quest to show the world that it is not weird to dip your french fries (or any other food of choice) in ranch. Adding interest to your meal is not a good reason for friends to bandy pregnant jokes your way, but if you are pregnant... I don't know what to tell ya. Remember, what makes a meal great isn't always what you serve - it is how you dress it.

Take for example bologna. It is a disgusting, processed meat that teen aged babysitters love to use as a torture mechanism (or lunch) for kids in subdivisions everywhere. Solving this epidemic is simple as busting out a bag of potato chips (non-ridged) and ketchup. When making a sandwich layer chips on the bologna and apply ketchup liberally. That, my friends, is the only way you will ever see me eating bologna, period.

Dressing up ice cream can take on a number of forms, all options are pretty good and ice cream doesn't even need toppings to be awesome. But, substitute a powdered chocolate like Quick for chocolate syrup and your bowl is now holding an ice cream masterpiece.

Everyone has their own interesting condiment usage. Mixing, matching, and re-purposing the stock from your fridge door is ok for everyone - not just pregnant ladies. So whip out your hot sauce and douse that pizza slice with pride!