Beware The Grocery Shrink Ray

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If you’ve been shopping lately, then I don’t have to tell you that prices are out of control.  But it might be worse than you think or, more importantly, worse than you notice.

Our friends at Consumerist have been documenting the effects of what they call “The Grocery Shrink Ray”.  It sounds all cool and sci-fi, but I assure you, it’s neither “cool” nor “science”…and it’s certainly not “fiction”.

In effort to hide the effects of inflation, companies are shrinking their products rather than raising their prices.  So you pay the same but you get less.  Let’s take a look:

Natural Valley Trail Mix: The fact that they consider “chewy” a selling point is enough to keep me away.  But how about the fact that $8.28 used to get you 35 bars and now it gets you 30?  Hopefully they’ve increased the chewiness, that way they’ll last longer.

Tropicana Orange Juice:  Wow!  Look at the curvy new Tropicana carton.  It’s like the Catherine Zeta Jones of Orange Juice.  Hey, wait a second?  I was so busy lusting over an inanimate object; I almost didn’t notice that the container went from 96oz to 89oz.  Well played, Tropicana…well played. 

Pampers:  8 less diapers.  That’s a pretty big drop.  Being short 8 diapers is going to cause a lot of messes.  Let’s hope the shrink ray doesn’t hit napkins. Ha, ha, ha…

Bounty Napkins:  Son of a…

Bausch & Lomb Contact Solution:  It went from 4oz to 3.5oz.  I’m starting to sense a conspiracy.  If people run out of contact solution then they can’t see that the sizes are changing.  I wonder if Art Bell knows about this?

Skippy Peanut Butter:  It went from 16.3oz to 15oz.  Damn you, Skippy.  I’ll never be able to watch Family Ties the same way again.

White Rain Shampoo: Granted, I was a Mass Communications major so math isn’t exactly my strong suit, but somehow White Rain Shampoo went from 19.95fl. oz. to 18fl. oz. and still managed to be “33% more”.  Apparently they’re using a definition of “more” that I was previously unfamiliar with.

Kraft Deli Fresh Swiss Cheese:  It went from 8oz and 11 slices to 7oz and 10 slices.  I bet the holes are bigger too.  Kraft Swiss Cheese?  More like Krafty Swiss Cheese.

Cheer Detergent:  So you think you know better now, right?  “I’ll just read the labels.  I won’t let The Man get me,” you say.  Well how about this?  The package is the same size on Cheer Detergent, but the scoop is bigger.  Wrap your mind around that!

Hefty Trash Bags:  You used to get 40, now you get 34.  As I mentioned earlier, I’m no mathlete.  But if memory serves, 34 is less than 40.  Of course, maybe Hefty is doing us a favor.  After all, with everyone getting less of everything, who needs those extra 6 trash bags anyway?