Movie Review - The Men Who Stare at Goats

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"More of this is true than you would believe," we are warned at the beginning of The Men Who Stare at Goats. Which is a roundabout way to say “based on a true story” without having to be bound by any real facts. The story purports to tell us the story of Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor) a reporter for a midsize newspaper who falls into the story of his life while reporting on the Iraq War. He desperately wants to make his way from Kuwait and into Iraq but, unable to find a way in, is instead languishing in his hotel’s bar. It is here that he comes upon Lyn Cassady (George Clooney). Lyn is a former Army man who claims to have been in a Special Forces unit whose sole purpose was to harness the power of the paranormal for patriotic purposes. They were trained in the art of cloud bursting, walking through walls, mind control and the aforementioned “goat staring” (which was a means by which they would stop their hearts).

The film follows two tracks: the present, where Bob follows Lyn on his “top secret” mission into Iraq, and the past, which consists of a series of flashbacks in which we see how this group of “Jedi Warriors” was assembled. The team was the brainchild of Bill Django (Jeff Bridges channeling “The Dude’s” warmongering doppelganger). He referred to them as the New Earth Army and incorporated as much hippie/new age hocus-pocus into their training as he could. The film shows us just enough to keep us guessing as to whether the New Earth Army is actually mastering their powers or merely occasionally getting lucky.

While it aims to be a cutting political satire, the picture is ultimately a one-joke premise: let’s laugh at conservative, uptight soldiers acting like the hippies they hate in order exploit “flower power” for militaristic gain. And don’t get me wrong, there are some laughs within that premise. But it tends to lose its effectiveness after being repeated ad nauseum for ninety minutes. The filmmakers treat the Army with derision for wanting to utilize the more metaphysical aspects of the peace movement in an effort to wage war. And there is a certain level of hypocrisy there, I suppose. But the movie’s sanctimonious, anti-military arrogance belies a hypocrisy all its own. It asks the audience to believe that the paranormal is possible while repeatedly ridiculing the government for doing the same. The implication being that they aren’t mocking the belief in the mystical but the motivations for said believe. It’s a subtle but important distinction…and kind of a snotty one.

On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being Dr. Strangelove and 1 being Firestarter 2: Rekindled, The Men Who Stare at Goats gets a 5.

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