Fake Mayor Slay: Bring Us a Fudgery!!

This archived news story is available only for your personal, non-commercial use. Information in the story may be outdated or superseded by additional information. Reading or replying the story in its archived form does not constitute a re-publiccation of the story.

Well, did I stumble into a St. Louis gem! I caught a break from the rain to stretch the legs for one of my strolls. Usually I head east from City Hall toward the river, but fate took me West. Did you know that if you go west on Clark, past Scottrade and The Post Office, there is this whole big old train station?

I grabbed a pamphlet, and apparently it is called, "Union Station." I'm not exactly sure when the trains run.

But what I can tell you is: It is AWESOME! There's like eight restaurants, and none of them had lines to get in! And shopping? Forget about it! If you ever wanted to buy something with a logo on it, you've hit the motherlode. A-B merch? Check. Cardinals schwag? Gotcha. St. Louis stuff? Covered. Want the Beatles? They're for sale. Hats, Ties, Shirts? Please. I bought a shirt that reads, "I was wondering why that frisbee kept getting bigger, and then it hit me." Get it? I know! It's hilarious!

Want a picture of a dead relative on the front of your shirt? Union Station, my man. THEY CAN PUT YOUR NAME ON A GRAIN OF RICE!!! Will the wonders never cease?

Apparently not. Because as I finished my lap around the place, I saw it: The Fudgery. Sure they sell fudge, but it is so much more than that. It's a spectacle of interactive entertainment. Basically, if Dane Cook had a head-on collision with a sugar coma on the way to Awesometown, you'd start approaching the ridiculous coolness of this place.

I stood transfixed for about 2 hours. These Confectionery Comedians lead the crowd (easily in the tens) through the whole fudge-making process with chants and songs. Do you have any idea how much MIXING goes into making fudge? I had no idea! And they really get into it, they beat that fudge like it owes them money.

I think I ended up dropping about $125 buying every flavor they made. I'm probably gonna need some insulin.